Action is the foundational key to all success –Pablo Picasso

I have been around children my whole life and have seen a wide spectrum of personalities and seen different parenting approaches.  I have discovered that though we all are born with unique personalities, most beliefs we develop about ourselves come from what we hear from those around us.

Do you remember the last time you really beat yourself up over something?  What was it over?  Generally we are hard on ourselves for making mistakes, or not being successful enough.  As a young child, these things would have not phased us, but as we have matured, we have learned that these things are unacceptable.  In some cases, our maturity is a form of respect and needed in society, but so many times we beat ourselves up over things that really don’t matter.

Parents have so much influence over their children, even when they are grown.  I still find satisfaction in making my dad proud, and to hear it from him is even more satisfying.  The success of our society depends greatly on the success of our families.  But how is success measured?  Is it because we have raised another Einstein or perhaps another Babe Ruth?  Do our children have to become some famous super stars to be successful?

We live in a competitive world, and it is in our nature to do the best or be the best in whatever we are doing.  Most parents start to unintentionally push their children at a young age to believe that their success depends on how well they do something.  The child’s self-esteem soon is wrapped up in their talents.  When they get to a point where the skill level required is more difficult, they start to believe that they are worthless, and don’t think they can ever overcome their struggles.  Most want to quit and find something that they are truly good at.  Some might say that it is all part of the learning curve, but what if there was a better way to help our children find success?

True success is not the final product, but rather the road that got you there.  If we teach our children while they are young that they succeed by putting in the effort, then when they get to a difficult crossing in building their skills, they will know that even if they struggle, all is not loss.  When we build confidence in how hard they work, and not how well they do something, we will help them to succeed.

When praising a child, let them know you are impressed with how hard they worked, or let them know that you can tell that they took their time.  All too soon they will learn how competitive the world is, but if we have built up their confidence, they will find success, Einstein or not.